Are you looking at my boobs?

Woman at coffeeshop: “Uh, excuse me, are you looking at my boobs?”  

I replied, “No, well, yes, and they’re very nice, but I noticed the book you’re reading is made out of paper.  What decade do you live in?”

- Post sponsored by Amazon Kindle.

Why I drink Coffee in the Morning.

I drink coffee in the morning because otherwise I can’t poop.

Women During PMS

Tangible Ego

The more attention you give to my ego, the larger it gets.  My penis is a physical representation of my ego.

All 50 States

Some asshole pissed me off, so I told a story about him.

"

When I think about the number of rapes in the world today, I hold a rather optimistic view, simply because of the placement of the vagina on the human female. Out of site, out of mind. I mean, just imagine if women had a vagina on their hands, or a pair on their shoulders, or on their face. Constantly viewable. Much more accessible. There would be a higher rape rate, for sure.

I’d rape me a cunt face every time I walked by.

"

"I apologize in advance for never calling you again after we have sex tonight."

"Biggest pet peeve: when you’re bending over wiping your ass and your penis dips in the toilet water. It’s so disgusting! It really ruins the moment later when I’m curled up in a ball blowing myself."

"I fail to see the need to have an emotional connection to a woman in order to have sex with her."

International Woman’s Day

As some of you may know, yesterday was International Woman’s Day.  It’s a special day of the year where you give thanks and respect for the women in your life for all the amazing things they do for you.  It’s not so celebrated in the United States as it is in places like Europe or South America.  There, it’s as big as Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day.

But I digress.  This post is dedicated to the wonderful creature that is woman.  Without vaginas, they would be nothing.  Cheers!